Dirty Pretty Things

Dirty Pretty Things

I pat on my face cream.
In the morning, rubbing it in
-Deep.
It protects me.

I carefully craft my makeup
To accentuate,
to highlight.
To hide behind tinted beauty

A tainted barrier,
A false barrier,
A strong barrier,
between myself
and the nature of others.

I'll shake your hand, "Hi! Good to meet you!"
Or, support you, "That's really great!"
Or, lie to you, "I'm doing really well!"

Sometimes I'll mean it,
But, I know it won't happen.
"We should get together sometime soon."
"Yes, plan it. I'll see you then!"

Sometimes I'll believe-
My own lies to myself.

It's when I take off the mask...
That the tears wet my neck,
Drench my eyes...
As the pain heaves into sobs.

Not just anyone will see it.
It is privilege.

And you...
With whom I shared such dirty pretty things...
You!
Who threw it back in my face...
You'll never see it again.

I protect myself
Even from you.